By Gregg Sanderson
This month’s column is a little different from the usual, since it’s December, and BOB will be busy delivering toys to all the good little girls and boys.
Oh wait… That’s not BOB… It’s something else. Unconditional Love doesn’t care if you’re bad or good. If It did, It wouldn’t be unconditional, would it? With BOB, there’s no “bad” or “good,” only consequences.
But I digress. This is the time for families to get together to celebrate whatever holiday they celebrate, and for each of us to wonder, “Who are these people, anyhow, and what am I doing here?”
One thing everybody knows is
Family ain’t a bed of roses
When we all would get together, don’t ‘cha know.
When we differ in many ways
Criticism’s trumping praise
And harmony’s a tricky row to hoe.
Witness the dysfunction
At the holiday luncheon.
When family assembles from afar
All have their own delight
And they know their way is right
No matter how opposed their viewpoints are.
Grandma’s cooking up a storm
At the stove at night and morn
She knows a woman’s place is in the kitchen.
Mama says it’s overrated
Gender roles are so outdated.
Grandma just says “daughter, quit yer bitchin’”.
Sister Susie won’t eat meat.
She calls watercress a treat.
She’s a militant crusading vegetarian.
Grandpa Henry sprinkles sugar
On his bloody rare hamburger
That’s how he became octogenarian.
Uncle Arty is a smarty
Joined the Democratic Party
And loudly he puts down the SUV
That belongs to cousin Joe
Who thinks that Arty is a shmoe.
So naturally he joined the GOP.
Brother Georgie is athletic
And he thinks it’s just pathetic
That younger brother Ritchie is a nerd.
While Georgie gets the praise
Little Ritchie gets straight “A”s
And each one thinks the other is absurd.
Cousin Willie is successful
But his life is over-stressful
With his business always calling him away.
Yet the most disturbing call
Wasn’t businesslike at all
It was just son Bill, announcing he was gay.
Then there’s uncle Jack
Who somehow came out black
While all the rest of us are lily white.
We couldn’t ask his mama
Who was down in Ala-bama
But I’ll bet that southern belle got quite a fright.
Some folks have to criticize
They think they’re very wise
And that they’re on their way to self-esteem.
When judgment is their lot
Sometimes that’s all they’ve got.
A happy life for them is just a dream.
Little Lucy is a looker
And she became a hooker.
We all have different ways to get life’s lesson.
Putting righteousness aside
And letting love instead abide
We each can be ourselves without suppressin’.
All that yucky “stuff” we wish’ll
Go away is superficial
While the love inside is aching to express.
Beneath everybody’s game
We’re really just the same.
All we want is love and happiness.
We all are sisters and we’re brothers
There aren’t any others
To induct into the brotherhood of man.
So when somebody’s opinions
Make you call out all your minions
Try loving that stupid, idiotic, misguided, uninformed, uneducated boneheaded lame-brained numbskull if you can.
So now I say to you
It’s all in point of view
Perhaps we just might clear away the fog
By thinking when we see
A dog that has a flea
That maybe it’s the flea that has a dog.
Do you like, no – LOVE, my regular column – “The Way It is (Unless It’s Something Else)” then be sure to check out my newly released book, Spirit with a Smile: The world according to BOB. www.transformation-publishing.com