How to harness the power of happiness and improve your life.
By Linda Commito
Studies show that happiness is good for your health. In Greater Good Magazine, (Greater Berkely.edu), Kira Newman wrote in “Six Ways Happiness is Good for Your Health:” Happiness protects your heart, strengthens your immune system, combats stress, gives you fewer aches and pains, combats disease and disability, and lengthens our lives. (I’m IN!)
So, what are the secrets to living a happier life? I decided to ask the happiest person I know about her experience and insights for living a good life. I was lucky to have just spent two weeks with my mom, Theresa, who, at 95, lives independently and is a joy to be with. I asked her, “What do you believe is most valuable for living a life of peace, happiness and good health?” Her life is a testament to her beliefs.
The answers she shared validated another article from Frontiers in Psychology that listed three tips for being happier:
- Prioritize relationships and experiences, not stuff! My maternal grandmother was born the oldest girl of 21 children in Canada. My mom, Theresa, grew up in a small New England town, with very little in material comforts, but with a lot of love. Their family of six children moved from apartment to apartment, with no car and few possessions. They walked everywhere as a family, packing picnic baskets and, with neighbors, they would often go for swims at the reservoir. Theresa describes her early life: “I loved people, and I was a happy person. I loved helping others, especially mothers with kids, and would be pushing baby carriages whenever I could.”
And throughout her adult life, Theresa loved kids, was supportive, caring and kind to her friends, family, and anyone whom she met.
- Cultivate gratitude. Theresa does that better than anyone I know, despite some very challenging times. While living in her own home for over 50 years, with her husband, Art, she was in an accident with her dog, Jaxson. Two big dogs attacked them, causing her to fall and sending her to rehab for five weeks at a facility called Overlook. While there, she found that she loved the people, the location and the grounds, never dreaming that someday she could actually live there. Life works in strange ways. Several weeks later, she and my dad decided to move to an apartment at Overlook. About the accident, Theresa says, “I count my blessings. The way it all happened. . . the fall got me to this great place to live. I wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t fallen.” And Jaxson is still with her today, helping to keep her happy and healthy.
(Personally, what has helped me is keeping a gratitude journal for years, writing three things I am grateful for every day.)
- Practice mindfulness (or for many, praying). My mom has always had a beautiful faith in God, so much so, that I would often call her, asking her to add friends or loved ones who needed help, to her extensive prayer list. Regarding life and its ups and downs, Theresa says: “I’ve had difficult moments, but I’m happy with what the Lord has given me.” That belief has kept her strong, even when she lost her husband of almost 70 years and was grateful that he passed peacefully, with three of us lovingly holding his hands.
One concern that many share as we age, is our forgetfulness. But Theresa has the right attitude. She says: “That comes with age. It’s part of your life. Don’t dwell on it and make it worse!” And with that, she continues to do what she does best—staying connected, present, being grateful for each day, and even laughing at silly mistakes!
Are you finding it difficult to be happy sometimes? I came across this article by Very Well Mind writer, Mark Stibich, Phd., who writes: “Smiling can trick your brain into happiness and boost your health.” These are just a few of the benefits of smiling: 1. Helps you to live longer, 2. Relieves stress, 3. Makes you feel happier, 4. Smiling is contagious, and 5. It boosts your immune system.
Some studies have suggested that there are other ways to increase our happiness by spending more time outdoors in green spaces, and even gardening to help our emotional well-being, just as walking does. Personally, I love engaging with birds, and (I confess) hugging trees. Variety also helps, and changing our patterns can make life more interesting.
I am very thankful to have a beautiful example of a life well-lived. My mom usually has a big smile, is a wonderful listener, and is a joy to be with. I owe a big measure of my own happiness to my mom, who has been my best friend and travel companion, to whom I could come to for advice, love and inspiration. Thank you, Mom with all my heart.
May we each find our own unique ways to being and staying happy and healthy and share them with those we love.
Linda Commito, author, speaker, entrepreneur, consultant and teacher, is passionate about her vision to leave this world a kinder, more loving, and interconnected place. Linda’s award-winning book of inspirational stories, Love Is the New Currency, demonstrates how we can each make an extraordinary difference in the lives of others through simple acts of love and kindness. Her latest project, the card game Just Ask 1 2 3, was inspired by a desire to connect people of all different ages, beliefs and lifestyles to share our individuality and find commonality. Linda also created “Kindness Starts with Me,” a program, book and website for children. For more information visit http://www.LoveistheNewCurrency.com or visit the Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/Justask123game.
