When we let go of fear, each step we take fills our hearts and minds with such possibility.
By Mary Boutieller
Do you ever feel a chasm between who you want to be in the world and who you actually are? Lately, it’s felt so poignant for me—the person I aspire to be and the person I am in this moment. You see, the person I want to be is loving and compassionate all the time. She is open to others’ opinions, accepting of the world as it is and able to smile at the grand play of the Universe. This, as opposed to the one who spouts judgments and frustrations like weeds growing in the garden; who is not always loving or understanding or generous at all.
Often, I walk in the woods and feel this dichotomy as if two separate people are walking side by side, almost like the good angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other. I open and close like a hand that doesn’t know whether to grasp or let go. Sometimes, I secretly envy those who join monasteries and find fulfillment with their God and their lives, or so it seems.
And I wonder, how do we find peace with what is instead of always comparing notes, or people, or the way things used to be?
Mark Nepo said, “It’s a tricky thing, to survive and thrive. We have to dance with both. We have to pay the heat bill and replace the milk.”
We know that our energy is contagious, and people will feed on what we bring to the table. When we scowl at the world, the world scowls back; and when we laugh, when we let go of fear and jump in with both feet, it fills our hearts and minds with such possibility.
Lao Tzu said, “Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”
So, each day, I point myself toward the person I want to be, and I forgive myself, over and over again, for all my trespasses. I’ll not easily give up or give in to criticism or cynicism. I will just keep on the path. Some days will be hard and some will be joyously easy. Most will be somewhere in between.
How about you? Have you thought about giving up? If so, take heart my darlings because, you too, deserve tenfold all that you wish to give to the world. With each step you take, you will make your way, however fragmented, along the path that is surely love.
Jo Mooy has studied with many spiritual traditions over the past 40 years. The wide diversity of this training allows her to develop spiritual seminars and retreats that explore inspirational concepts, give purpose and guidance to students, and present esoteric teachings in an understandable manner. Along with Patricia Cockerill, she has guided the Women’s Meditation Circle since January 2006 where it has been honored for five years in a row as the “Favorite Meditation” group in Sarasota, FL, by Natural Awakenings Magazine. Teaching and using Sound as a retreat healing practice, Jo was certified as a Sound Healer through Jonathan Goldman’s Sound Healing Association. She writes and publishes a monthly internationally distributed e-newsletter called Spiritual Connections and is a staff writer for Spirit of Maat magazine in Sedona. For more information go to http://www.starsoundings.com or email jomooy@gmail.com.
