Beka Buckley, Okanagan, BC Canada
My name is BEKA. I am a writer, artist, and a little bit of a magician. I support brilliant high-performers regain their equilibrium, stand in true sovereignty and become their own leaders of the neu paradigm. An English bird of origin, I live in the quiet mountain forests of BC’s southern interior with my superhero husband, two teenage sons and three tuxedo cats. When I am not supporting folks navigating uncertainty and helping them create awesome things, I can be found wandering the local forest trails, taking photos with my trusty DSLR, or expressing my story through fibre or earth art. Connect at transformationcoachdirectory.com/listing/bekabee.html
What is your niche (coaching focus) and how did you choose it?
Ack! Right for the jugular out the cage. I used to have SUCH a time with this, getting tangled in so many knots with this question. Until I remembered something. You see as a polymath, a person who embraces ALL of themselves and sees no disconnection between the things, trying to isolate a specific “niche” is like trying to capture water in an open hand. As such, I have been through many, MANY iterations of what my “niche” might be. But the truth is, those things were ALL aspects of me. They reflected where I was in my own journey and on reflection, ARE me. So ultimately my “niche” as it were is those people on the same journey as me, who love and are lit up by the same things. The ones who want to know all there is to know about themselves. To go deep into how they tick. To understand their place in the world and what that means. To know themselves so intimately and with such clarity that there is no doubt when it comes to expressing who they are. And ENJOYING the ride along the way. Like all of us, they have surface problems to navigate, but ultimately they want to touch that greater self that exists within all of us.
Who is your ideal client?
Again, I could talk in terms of demographics or even psychographics to describe this person—I have done such exercises in the past myself. But when it comes down to it, my “ideal client” is someone who is ready and open to doing things differently. Someone willing to put everything they know and have gathered to the side so they can come at this with a clean slate, as a beginner. It doesn’t matter to me their social status or wealth or the list of incredible things they might have done; what matters is their ability to be vulnerable enough to know there is STRENGTH in asking for help. To be willing to drop the mask and be real. It is from that place that I can actually help.
What inspired you to become a life coach?
I had been on my journey of solopreneurship for some time, had tried many things and was slowly evolving how I wanted to show up online and in the world. What moved me to go down the path of coaching really was the desire to serve people even more deeply, in ways that were becoming more and more meaningful to me, my own beliefs and desires about how to be in the world. I won’t go into all the lovely details here but a series of traumatic, painful, awakening events in my life had reaffirmed to me what really mattered, and I wanted to offer people solutions that went beyond the superficial of ego-satisfying quick fixes and patches, to create truly long-lasting change and transformation. The other element of influence, though it might sound a bit corny, were my children and husband. In learning and practicing the craft of coaching, I get to support them more deeply also. Not only in navigating life’s fun and games, but also by example of becoming my best self simply FOR myself. Even if only unconsciously, our transformation shifts how we show up and ripples out into our environment where others move in response to that.
How long have you been coaching?
As an innately creative thinker I have always been drawn to solving problems. The bigger the problem or puzzle, the more my curiosity is engaged to solve it. In fact, I find I THRIVE and am set alive when faced with things that others would be brought down by. That doesn’t mean to say I am an anarchist looking for trouble, for sure the events and experiences that happened to me were not fun, nor would I wish on anyone, but their happening have each given me the perspective that we are all far more capable and stronger and resilient than we might think we are. So far as INTENTIONALLY coaching though, I would say that that has really taken off the last three to four years since consciously dedicating myself to expanding and practicing this area of my capabilities.
How did you get your first client?
I didn’t. Just as coaching came out of my own evolution, so too my first client found me. I had been talking and sharing about the things I was exploring, sharing what I was doing, and someone just reached out to me to receive a conversation. Things just flowed from there. To me the idea of “getting” clients feels kind of old school. I think that’s why so many people feel really weird doing the things to “get” clients, especially in the coaching business. Rather, I believe clients are created. From the conversations we have. The relationships we build. The things that CONNECT us.
How has your coaching journey changed your life?
It has made it more complex, more detailed, more nuanced. Going down the rabbit hole of personal development inevitably changes a person. Even just reading and studying the topic creates a ripple effect that cannot be evaded. Sometimes I do start to wonder whether staying ignorant is actually the best policy, but seriously this rabbit hole called coaching has enriched my life in ways I could never have imagined, even a decade ago. It has made me more aware and conscious of my own behaviors and processes. I know myself better and further aware of how much I DON’T yet know. I guess you could say it is a bit of a humbling process because in knowing more about MYSELF and troubleshooting my own hurdles, I can in turn support others through THEIR stuff.
What is the most challenging part of being a life coach?
Knowing what the XYZ I am doing and learning to be okay with the unknown. Seriously, the more I spend learning about and practicing my thing and this whole solopreneurship lark, the more I realize that truthfully no one really knows what they are doing. They are all just making it up as they go. Testing and pivoting again and again. Smart people have professed this truth too. So yes, the trick really in all of this is trusting that each step will reveal the next and that all will be as it is meant in the end. I may have a heading, a direction, but the actual path, the actual way it will happen, that will remain open. We can never truly know what tomorrow may bring. Learning to be OKAY with the mystery, the UNKNOWN. TRUSTING that the path will come up to meet me. That is the challenge. Everything else is easy.
What is the most fulfilling part of being a life coach?
Again, so hard to narrow to just ONE. There are many aspects of coaching that bring fulfilment. Connecting with fun, interesting and diverse people from across the globe? Having international connections and being part of a global network? Doing what I love and connecting with others who feel the same and WANT the same for themselves? Being able to support others on their journey and a part of the ripple effect? I guess this is going to sound very polymathic, but maybe the MOST fulfilling part of being a life coach is the opportunity to pull all the parts of me into this one thing, where each day is different and I get to practice the various aspects of me in a constant revolving door of expression. Whether that is writing my next article, connecting with clients, or designing my next offering. It is all there. For a polymath one might say it is a perfect match!
What has been your most inspirational coaching moment, with a client?
I guess inspirational moments with clients come at several moments in our relationship. In the first instance, it is inspiring to me that a person reaches out for support with the desire to get to the root of a problem, that they recognize what got them to this point is not going to get them to that one, but that they are steadfast in their desire TO resolve it. And it is inspiring to me too when they not only see THAT horizon but expand even further beyond it, where their imagined desire suddenly becomes so much bigger than they could see before. Witnessing that moment of insight and sudden expansion is electric, because after that there IS no going back.
What is your favorite coaching activity or exercise to do with clients?
Ooh, good question. Actually I don’t tend to do a lot of activities or exercises as such with my clients. That is not to say I don’t have a nice big basket of tools in my kit, but I find the way I work with people is that after we have our setting the process evolves very much on an individualized, bespoke basis drawing in the tools and resources we need as and when. I often find the right things come to me just when they are needed. It’s all rather intuitive and obvious actually. However, one process I have found super useful in the early stages of a partnership is what I call a “future visioneering process”, which I learned from a mentor of mine. Through it we literally warp time to bring the future into the present and reflect on all that has happened between now and our last conversation. It’s a bit of a mind-bend, but without the psychedelics. The reason I particularly like this game is from my own experience of struggling with the classic question of “imagine your ideal day.” How can we possibly know what the future will bring? What will we enjoy in the future, when we don’t know it yet? The exercise of visioneering leap-frogs us into the future, bringing it into present time where we KNOW. And it is from THAT place we get to move forward. We have literally just time-travelled and cut out the middle man.
What has been the most effective strategy for finding clients and/or growing your business?
Honestly, while all the bells and whistles are great to learn about and play with and appear to be “must haves”, what I have found to be the most effective strategy in connecting with clients has been simply being AUTHENTIC in my showing up, sharing my journey, and telling my story and the things that I have found useful or frustrating. We can be so easily distracted by shiny objects or the fear that there won’t somehow be enough, or that we have to BE the shiny object. The reality is that this thing called coaching is a PEOPLE business. It is about RELATIONSHIPS and creating trust. So doing what comes naturally to being human in a collective and what has gone on for thousands of years—networking + making connections, talking to strangers on the Internet, being in the places people are actively looking for information + resources, not speaking into the void or PUSHING—these are the things that CREATE clients and grow our businesses.
What advice would you give YOURSELF back when you first dreamed of becoming a coach?
Fill in the gaps of your knowledge and know that is a GOOD thing. Follow the breadcrumbs of your curiosity. TRUST your inner wisdom. Be inspired by others but be wary of distraction from external shiny objects and voices. They are good for seeing and learning the POSSIBLE ways, but the real trick is staying connected to your own wisdom and muse and taking inspired action based on that. Be fierce in the defense of your own path and KIND to yourself in the process of unfolding. You know exactly what you are doing, though it may not feel like it. Be okay with that. You’ve got this.
What is the impact you want to make in this world?
I guess it really is about continuing what I have always strived for, through all the ways I have interacted with people and the intention behind the things I create, and that is to connect people with THEIR truth, their power, and to know that it is safe and GOOD for them to do so. I’m not sure it has to be any more complicated than that.
Is there anything else you would like to share with Transformation Coaching Magazine readers?
Don’t be afraid to start over. Nothing is ever set in stone. Your path is yet to be written. Know that nothing is ever lost, it simply shapeshifts and transfers into the next. Everything that comes next grows from what came before. Even our worst days hold the seeds for our best. Allow things to fall apart. Your next version will be stronger, better. It’s all good. And really, don’t take things too seriously. I think we forget that. Life is for LIVING after all.