By Rev. Marla Sanderson
It’s time to let go of behaviors and expectations that set you up for unhappiness.
I used to be a quitter. If any small thing got in my way, I simply gave up. Was it fear? Fear of failure? Fear of success? Fear of something else? Yes!
I wasn’t proud of it, and I was willing to do anything I could to free myself. I worked diligently to overcome all the fears I could find—and even some I only suspected. After all, what kind of life could I expect with an attitude like that?
I’m not a quitter anymore. Over the years I’ve developed an ability to persist that sometimes amazes even me. I guess too much of anything can be a trap, and here I was, caught in it.
I spent about a year and a half on an idea that went nowhere. I was so in love with the idea, I was unwilling to give up, even though it had become frustrating and was costing more money than it made.
I was stuck and I needed to get out, but something in me just wouldn’t allow me to quit. I felt a huge burden of responsibility to make it work.
It’s important to point out that there’s a difference between quitting and letting go. Quitting is often motivated by fear—letting go by wisdom. I remembered that recently as I managed to free myself from this “stuck” place.
How about you? Do you ever feel like you’re in a rut? Or that you’re caught in an unpleasant pattern? It’s natural to feel this way. I believe these feelings are part of a Cosmic Plan designed to push us on to something better.
If you’ve had enough of what doesn’t work, put your foot down. I mean it. Stomp that foot. Do it right now. Can you do it? If you really want to free yourself, you have to cut the cord and never go back.
If you’re not quite ready, that’s OK—but when you are, try doing this:
FIRST: Recognize there are infinite possibilities for your life that you know nothing about. Yet they exist in the realm of possibility. And they exist for you. You deserve something better than what you have right now. We all do.
Are you ready to allow that “something better” to happen? If you can say “yes” with all your heart and soul, proceed to the next step.
SECOND: Give up what’s not working. It may be scary to let go of the current situation, even if it’s a bad one; but once you do, you make space in your life for something new to happen.
What would you like to free yourself from?
- Like me, an idea that isn’t working?
- Poverty thinking or other areas of lack?
- Addictions? Habits? Or other negative behaviors?
- A relationship that sucks the life out of you?
- The feeling there’s something wrong with you?
- Something else? What then? Be specific.
“Letting go” doesn’t mean you have to divorce your spouse, quit your job, or anything so drastic. It just means to let go of a behavior or expectation that sets you up for unhappiness.
Let’s look at the spouse thing for a minute. This could apply to any relationship with anyone in the world (including yourself). It might mean you could…
- Forgive someone, and not hold a grudge.
- Refrain from trying to make them be different from the way they are.
- Walk away from an argument instead of adding fuel to the fire.
- Give up the need for someone’s approval, acceptance, or respect.
- Stop the urge to blame, justify, or try to be right.
- Do any combination of the above or anything else you can think of because somewhere deep inside, you know. Yes. You know.
THIRD: In a world of infinite possibilities, you can’t possibly know all the good things that could come your way. Decide what you want to be, do, or feel and leave space for something even better.
The point is that everything in your life starts in your own mind. When you’re finished with what you’ve got, try thinking differently about it. Kick negative thinking right out of your head. Resolve to think positive thoughts, expect positive things, and take positive steps.
Once I was willing to let go, I saw new ways to implement the idea without cost and without the heaviness. Ideas are still forming, and I think they’re better than the original plan. I feel a sense of lightness and freedom, and I am excited to get on with the new.
Someone once said, “Your only prison is in your own mind,” and I got to prove that to myself once again.
Rev. Marla Sanderson is a skilled spiritual counselor, speaker, teacher, and workshop leader. She has studied and practiced the Science of Happiness and Science of Mind for over 40 years. Her website, The New Thought Global Network, showcases ideas from many New Thought disciplines. She is ordained in the Centers for Spiritual Living. (Religious Science). Contact her at 727-475-8991, or firstname.lastname@example.org or visit www.newthoughtglobal.org.