By Tammy Taylor
“To have a serious illness or injury is difficult enough; seeing it as a punishment or the cruel caprice of fate only makes it harder to bear.”—Caroline Myss, medical intuitive, author, mystic
Soul alignment is when the ego chooses to yield its life to the soul before its physical death. Living a soul-aligned life has transformed me from an emotionally abandoned daughter—someone who lived in a constant state of hysteria—into a spiritual growth life coach fulfilling my soul contract to empower others to heal from the damaging effects of Mama Drama Trauma.
“Mama Drama Trauma” (MDT) is a condition by which the mother inflicts unhealed aspects of herself onto her children causing physical and/or emotional trauma. In extreme cases where the mother is unable, unwilling, or unavailable to heal, loving detachment is not an option—it is the last resort for MDT suffers to live a happy and healthy life.
Doing so through “Loving Detachment”, the process I am about to share, is the most powerful thing I’ve ever done. It is not about trying to rid our mother from our lives; it’s about consciously staying soul connected.
MDT is a clarion call to reframe our story, drop the drama, and recommit to our soul journey. The Spiritual lesson of this experience for soul is to learn how to unconditionally love and nurture itself. If ego chooses to co-creatively assist, soul evolves and ego heals.
Loving detachment allows us to see all this clearly and objectively. It diffuses the emotional tyranny of MDT by providing the time and space we need to transcend the demands of an unhealthy ego that insists we are nothing more than our biography.
How MDT Affects Us
Dr. Norman Shealy, neurosurgeon and pain medicine pioneer, says, “Children who feel unloved either become depressed or juvenile delinquents, and depressed and socially delinquent children tend to become depressed and/or delinquent adults.”
It is a ravenous cycle.
MDT famously makes life hell on wheels.
Here are the telltale signs you may have MDT:
- You struggle to make decisions on your own because you need constant approval.
- Your feelings are easily hurt, and you are convinced everything people say and do is about you.
- You have self-sabotaging inner dialogue and self-destructive addictions.
- You have a one-sided relationship with your mother because you don’t feel heard.
- Your entire identity is based on how much others, particularly your mother, value you.
- You project your own feelings of insecurity onto others, harshly judging those you don’t like and attracting emotionally insecure friends.
- No matter what you do, you feel out of sync with the world around you (You find it impossible to “be present”.)
- Your life is lonely.
- The act is tired; you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired and out of moves.
- You don’t know what to do, but there’s only one thing left to do…admit it: You suffer from MDT (or the closely related PDT, Papa Drama Trauma).
How to Heal MDT
Two practices healed my MDT: soul alignment and sacred alignment. Soul alignment is yielding ego identity, biography, and conditioning to one’s intuitive guidance and the unceasing love and appreciation soul has for us. Sacred alignment is soul alignment between two or more souls cooperatively fulfilling their soul contract.
Dr. Norm Shealy and Carolyn Myss teach the science of medical intuition, and assess our soul mates as those who cause the greatest pain in our lives. As a Baptist born Midwesterner, learning to see my mother from this perspective threw me into decade long research about love, soul, Spirit, and how to reclaim my personal power.
The Ritual of Loving Detachment in 5 Steps
Rituals are rites of passage to soul and sacred alignment. The crucial role addiction plays in MDT directly correlates to the absence of ritual in our lives. We need ritual to transition, transform, accept, and release what no longer serves the personal and collective consciousness. Carrying MDT and other such personal and social burdens of the past impede progression on our evolutionary path until they are ritualized.
Loving Detachment, like all rituals, is catharsis in three rites: separation, transformation, and integration.
The first initiation is when we ACKNOWLEDGE THE WOUND of truth of our MDT experience by trusting our intuition, releasing denial, and separating from the drama to soul align.
We ASK “IS IT TRUE?” Did mama abuse, abandon, not love me? We amp up meditation and prayer. We ultimately get clarity about the crisis and the anger through inquiry and observation of how we allow MDT to define us and our lives.
In the last phase of separation, we PROCESS THE TRUTH shifting from our ego to soul perspective of the mother.
In the next rite of transformation, we are REBORN. By asserting self acceptance, bold acts of creative expression, play, and self-nurturing habits we detox victimhood. At this stage, sacred alignment begins in earnest as we consciously choose to interact with individuals, situations, and memories in ways to resolve drama and heal unfinished trauma.
Finally, through integration, actually living the Reality we are never alone, or unloved even when we feel unmothered, we LIBERATE ourselves to fully live in soul alignment, remaining connected with whom we are beyond this incarnation with sincerity, love, forgiveness and compassion.
Healing a Human Disorder
MDT is the planet’s biggest taboo. Its affects are as universal as motherhood, so until we heal it, we will continue to project the same unloving thoughts, behaviors, and beliefs onto ourselves and others.
When we can see the drama as something to which we as mother/child/soul mates agreed to experience, to keep us both on our evolutionary track, then what formerly seemed like an arbitrary or even absurd situation can be seen for what it is, a significant lesson on our soul journey.
Detachment from mama to heal MDT is not a forever proposition. It is as long as it takes to heal from its emotional triggers to gain sure footing in soul alignment and self love.
Mama may never change, but there is nothing is more transformative than the ability to “BE and Speak Your Truth With Love!”
Tammy Taylor, MSc, has one job: to show people how to forgive and stop living Mama Drama Trauma (MDT). In 2012, Tammy’s world as a life coach was turned upside down when she detached from her emotionally abusive mother. Within two years, her self-talk, relationships, and coaching practice transformed through a soul guided process she calls “Loving Detachment”. Her sound therapy, books, videos, public events, retreats and private sessions bring the freedom to “BE and Speak Your Truth With Love” to people all over the world. Tammy’s highly anticipated book, Mama Drama Trauma: How to Forgive and Stop Living It is due early 2015. Visit www.MamaDramaTrauma.com
This article is a chapter from the book Transform Your Life! written by 60 real-life heroes and experts and available at Amazon.com, BN.com, www.Transformation-Publishing.com and all ebook formats.