As an instant recap for those new to the BOB concept, BOB is an acronym for the Infinite “Being of Bliss”—The Intelligence, Love, and Substance that created everything out of Itself for Its own entertainment. We’re all made from the stuff of BOB, and the direct connection of our minds to the BOB Intelligence is reinforced by emotion.
Our thoughts are BOB’s thoughts, and It creates substance and circumstance in accord with them. When your thoughts and words are positive, so is your life. When your head’s a mess, that’s what you create. Problems come from the “RACE Trap”—another acronym that stands for “Righteousness and Approval Complicate Everything.”
When we left off last month, BOB was playing infinite “Whack-a-Mole” with our thoughts, bopping each one with a “YES” when it pops up. There’s more to it, of course, get the whole story at www.spiritwithasmile.com.
How to Avoid Happy Relationships
How do we limit ourselves by what we say about relationships?
We all are taught we need to find Mr. or Ms. “Right.” Somewhere “out there” is your Soul Mate, the only one for you—your Prince (or Princess) Charming. If the planets are properly aligned, and you hit the right bars, and you do everything right, there’s a slim chance that maybe perhaps possibly someday you might find each other and the sparks will fly. Meanwhile, keep on hoping and kissing frogs.
How’s that working for you?
Think for a moment of all the potential partners you will meet or have met during your “available” years. Perhaps a hundred? Maybe even a couple of hundred?
Considering all the people there are in your city, or in the whole country, the odds against finding “the one” are pretty foreboding.
Could it be that the idea that there’s only one person in the world for you might be a limiting belief?
There sure are a lot of people paired off that tells me the odds are much better than that. What if you were to approach money with the same attitudes we learn about relationships? There’ll be only one dollar in the world for you and if you’re lucky enough to find “Dollar Charming” you’d better hold onto it because you’ll probably never find another one. Maybe you can get it to commit to staying in your wallet forever. How silly.
How did we ever get the idea that love was so scarce when it’s the very stuff we’re made of?
Do you think Mr. Right has something to do with “Right”? After all, nobody is looking for Mr. Wrong. Mr. Right has to look right, think right, do right, dress right and smell right. He must have the right job and bank account to match, and come from the right side of the tracks. He must also gain the approval of friends before achieving full status. Once again the RACE Trap enters the picture. Righteousness and Approval Complicate Everything.
The same holds true for seekers of “Ms. Right” of course, but because of their BOB-given libidos, men don’t seem to be as choosy.
How did we get that way? Can you say, “Cinderella”? Talk about reaching out for limitation! Scrub enough floors and you too may find a fairy BOBmother to send you to the ball where you’ll meet the prince. The story ends before you find out who cleans up after his horse.
Do you see now why we say, “All the good ones are taken”? It’s just one more argument for limitation.
How do you think relationships will be different if we come from an abundant point of view?
Perhaps the first welcome casualty of an abundance consciousness would be the dreaded “C” word. If you believe in abundance of love, every “Mr. Right” is “Mr. Right Now,” even if it’s the same person for the rest of your life.
So many seek commitment out of fear of being alone in the future that they mess up their “now” and wind up in the very state they fear.
On the other hand, if you can make your present moment happy, you won’t need a guarantee for the future.
Coming from abundance is one way to do it. If you approach relationships with a sense of plenty, you won’t be driven by a fear of loss, and you’ll be more fun to be around. Thus, all your relationships will be better without hardly trying.
How often have you said (or heard), “This isn’t going anywhere.” Relationships don’t have wheels. When you live in abundance, it’s already “there,” so you might as well relax and enjoy it.
Which brings us to the oft’ desired “C” word—Communication. That wouldn’t be the big deal we make it into because most of the time we don’t share because of fear. I’m afraid we’ll start a fight, or I’m afraid I’ll hurt your feelings, or I’m afraid you’ll leave… All based on righteousness, approval, and scarcity in that order.
When you overcome the need to be right, there’s nothing to fight over.
When you overcome the need for approval, you can communicate more directly, and when you overcome feelings of scarcity you don’t have to worry about being alone. Everything works better.
It’s fair now to ask, “How do I overcome those things?” to which I reply, “What the heck do you want from a magazine column?” The best I can do in 800 words or less is point a direction. Future columns will address those situations and lots more, so camp out by your favorite magazine rack for the next issue of Suncoast Transformation or read it online.
There’s more to it, of course, get the whole story at www.spiritwithasmile.com.
By Gregg Sanderson
