By Natalie Rivera
Everything we want is because we believe it will make us feel the way we desire: good, or at least better. Everything.
And this is why desire has a bad reputation. Some even believe that desire is the root of suffering. This is true, but only if you define desire as “wanting something you don’t have.” Yes, that would feel like suffering. So, when we desire something, why does that feeling of “wanting” feel bad? Because we believe we must obtain certain wanted conditions in order to feel the way we want… this object of desire is required to feel good and its absence is a glaring obstacle to feeling the way we want. But it’s not true. We have the ability to feel the way we want without needing any of the conditions.
If we redefine the idea of desire, into “an experience of enjoying the excitement of dreaming” rather than an experience of longing, then desire becomes a powerful ally!
The beauty is that we can experience the UNcondition—the mental-emotional existence of our desire—before it ever manifests.
There are two ways to experience the UNcondition of your dreams, and feel good NOW.
The first strategy is to identify how the desire would make you feel. Then, do or think about ANYTHING that will elicit that same feeling. Since the whole reason you want that condition in the first place is the way it will make you feel, why not just feel that way now? There’s no reason for you to wait. Stop putting off feeling good until this, that, or the other things happens. Stop telling yourself “I’ll be happy when…”. No, you won’t. You’ll either choose to be happy NOW, in this moment, or you won’t. When you get “there”, you’ll be faced with the same choice.
The other way to experience the UNcondition is to literally experience your dream NOW. Your brain doesn’t know the difference between imagination and real life. Make your imagined dream real enough and it’s, literally, just like it’s happening now—real-life emotions and all. Again, you want it because of the feeling, right? Visualize yourself being there, experiencing your desire. Imagine what it feels like, looks like, sounds like. What are you wearing? Who is there with you? Are there smells in the air? Sensations in your body? Go there now. No waiting. No using your unfulfilled desire as your excuse not to feel good.
By feeling your desire before it comes—experiencing the UNcondition—not only do we enjoy the journey to our dreams more, we also put ourselves in a happier, healthier state of mind which makes us more able to accomplish our goals!
The better you feel, the more good things come to you.
The more you keep yourself feeling good NOW, the faster you’ll attract your desire into your life. Keep lamenting that it’s not here yet and see how long you’ll wait… and how miserable you’ll be in the meantime.
Below is a powerful activity designed to help you identify the UNcondition of your desires so that you can practice feeling the experience of them now.
- COLUMN 1: Write down the top 5 (or more) most important aspects of your life, each on a separate line.
- COLUMN 2: Describe how/what you desire them to be like.
- COLUMN 3: Ask yourself WHY you want each of these desires above? What is the emotion you want to experience? Write down 5-10 FEELINGS you believe you will have when you get what you want.
- Look through your lists of feelings and circle the ones that are either the most common among your lists or are the most important to you. These core emotions are the UNcondition you are desiring.
They’re feelings, not conditions. You can experience them now, even if your life isn’t, yet, the way you desire it to be.
Below are several examples:
- I want FINANCIAL sufficiency and abundance. WHY? To FEEL comfort, secure, certain, free, at ease/relaxed, excited, inspired, care free.
- I want HEALTH. Why? To FEEL limitless, active, alive, vibrant, care free.
- I want to TRAVEL. Why? To FEEL adventurous, grateful, alive, relaxed, excited, inspired.
Notice that I highlighted several words that showed up multiple times: excited and care free. These are two of my most powerful desired core emotional states. All of these emotional words represent the UNcondition of my desires. The more time that I can spend doing or imagining anything that makes me feel excited, care free, or any of those other desired states, the more I get to experience the end result of my desires.
The choice is yours:
OPTION 1: Continue to allow your desires to feel like an thorn in the side—an ache caused by the lack of what you want. Keep holding yourself back from dreaming of what you REALLY want because you just can’t stand the pain of not having it.
OPTION 2: Give yourself permission to feel good now, regardless of whether or not you have everything you want. Accept that you’re always going to want something. Decide that you are redefining desire as “an experience of enjoying the excitement of dreaming” and letting go of that nagging feeling of “wanting.” Practice feeling the UNcondition of your dream, now or any time. Revel in the joy of knowing you just got a shortcut!
And, when you find that IDEA—that thought, that focus—that fills you with joy and leaves you feeling that you no longer NEED that condition, hold onto it.
And, even if you never get what you want, you’ll enjoy the journey—which is, after all, the only thing you ever really desire.
Natalie Rivera is a firestarter, speaker and entrepreneur. She is passionate about empowering others to GET REAL and live authentically. After a decade of living a life that wasn’t hers and developing Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Natalie let go of everything and completely transformed. Through her journey to healing she rediscovered her true self and greater purpose—to inspire others to transform their lives. Natalie “retired” from the rat race at 24, put herself through school as a freelance designer, created a non-profit teen center, and later created Transformation Services, Inc., which offers motivational speaking, curriculum development, life coaching, event management, and publishing. She is also the Publisher of Transformation Magazine. Visit www.ignitelife.me.